On the long drive home from my kid’s soccer tournament this weekend, I began pondering how easy it had been not to drink bourbon, scotch, or beer the entire trip, although I had numerous opportunities. The tournament was in a small industrial town just far enough from home that it justified an overnight stay. We arrived on a brisk Saturday morning, and after the first round of games, the kids all went bowling with the coaches and some parents, but I stayed back to get a quick workout in. After a nice hard workout, I was craving some protein, so I sought the closest steakhouse to our hotel. The restaurant I found wasn’t too busy for a Saturday night, which was great. I walked in and sat in the bar area where everyone around me was drinking booze. I ordered an enormous sirloin steak with bacon-wrapped grilled shrimp and a baked potato with steamed veggies and water. Yes, water. I had no trouble whatsoever ordering a non-alcoholic beverage. Asking the bartender for an alcoholic drink didn’t even cross my mind the entire time I sat there. I enjoyed my delicious meal, watched a little college football, paid my tab, and then got up and left. How is it possible for a powerless alcoholic like me, who is supposedly living with an incurable disease for the rest of my life, to only drink water at a bar? Hmm, interesting.
Before I got sober, it would have been borderline impossible to visit a restaurant or hotel bar by myself without ordering a drink. Lots and lots of drinks, to be honest! In my previous life, I distinctly remember feeling weak and helpless anywhere I went where alcohol was served. Like a moth to the flame, I used to be mystically drawn to alcohol and the places that sold it. I would even plan my business and personal trips around drinking events. I wouldn’t stay there if a hotel had no onsite restaurant with a bar. However, if a hotel had 24/7 room service or a minibar in my room, I would pay more to stay there just for the convenience of having alcohol on site and demand.
This recent trip got me thinking about what was so different about my new life vs. my old life. Why did I no longer want alcohol with my meal, at my hotel, in my fridge, etc.? There were so many opportunities for me to drink, and all of the so-called “triggers” were present on this trip, including:
- I was out of town
- I was alone, and no one knew me
- I was sitting at a bar
- I was watching sports on TV
- I was facing the wall of alcohol behind the bar
- I was within walking distance of my hotel
- I had nowhere to be for hours
- I was offered a drink at the hotel by other parents
- I had my own hotel room
All the triggers were there, but I still didn’t drink! I didn’t want to drink! I didn’t even think about drinking! Any of those triggers could have easily been used as an excuse for a powerless alcoholic to relapse. I didn’t have to call anyone or attend a meeting, and I wasn’t worried about relapsing. Going to that steakhouse alone, under those circumstances, goes against all the rules of engagement when you’re supposedly powerless over alcohol.
5 Ways to remove the desire to drink
- Change your perspective about the things in your life that you perceive as “bad.” Things happen for you, not to you. This powerful shift will help remove the need to escape (aka drink and use drugs), and you’ll feel differently about everyone and everything in your life.
- Replace negative people, places, and things in your life with positive ones. You will begin to experience more happy thoughts, emotions, and experiences.
- Quit acting tired and lazy! Start exercising and being active so you will look, act, and feel your best.
- Discontinue eating unhealthy foods and begin eating a healthy, all-natural diet (no fried, processed, sugary, or fast foods). What you eat has a significant impact on how you think and feel.
- Stop being ungrateful and begin expressing sincere gratitude every day for the countless blessings in your life. Someone out there would swap spots with you in a second!
Remember that sobriety is a choice, and you have the power to choose. If you have the power to decide not to drink, then you are NOT powerless over alcohol.
Contact Sober Coaching today if you or a loved one is battling addiction.
Tags: Addiction, alcohol, SOBRIETY, TEMPTATIONS, TRIGGERS